Giving Commands and Offering Choices

There are authoritative teachers.

There are permissive teachers.

I want to be somewhere in between. Easier said than done. So I'm trying to practice the art giving commands and offering choices. I think it would be nice of us if we included those 1st graders in our game. Thank you for sorting and putting the cards back in the box. You can share the football or you can take a two minute break on the bench. You can play cards with us or you can sit quietly on the stage for two minutes.

It's not quite second nature; far, far from it, in fact. But giving commands and offering choices to students is something I'm deliberately practicing. This afternoon my cup runneth over...

Today we played softball for 2 hours. The first challenge was walking fifteen 2nd, 3rd and 4th-graders five blocks down the street to the field, over a bridge with a creek below, and crossing the street where there was no crosswalk or light available. That part went okay. And later in the afternoon the walk back to school was easier because everyone was so hot, sweaty and exhausted.

Once we got to the field there was a lot of stick waving, dust kicking and a few heat exhaustion fueled shouting and pushing matches. We didn't bring any water, what were we thinking? One student, I'll call him R, show real hot and cold behavior. Often he wanders off by himself but he'll grab for my hand just as much. This afternoon R provided me with a study in choices.

R collected over a dozen discarded water bottles from all over the park. He then emptied (or married) all the bottles, dirty water and all, into a large-sized Gatorade bottle. Clever if disgusting, although he didn't drink the water, R suddenly had an enormous pile of dirty, crushed water bottles behind a tree. That was nice of you to collect that trash, now please put it in that trash can over there. It took him a few trips but R threw out the trash.

During stretches on the pitcher's mound, R kicked dust at G, another student. Right after he did it, R turned and looked at me, he knew he did something wrong. I'd like you to either brush the dust off G or take a 2 minute break on the bench starting now...and I started my stopwatch. R jogged over and plopped down on the wooden bench.

While waiting to bat, R picked up a very large tree branch and started waving it at other students. After one of the students screamed, R dropped the branch and went to pick up a bigger one. If you want to hit next then come and pick out a bat or you can take another break on the bench. When R came over to the bats, I asked him to find the lightest and the heaviest ones and he began his search.

After batting, R refused to get a glove and play the field. He wandered slowly across the outfield waving a small stick across the long, unmowed grass. R stopped to the side of the softball field to watch some kids play basketball. He turned back to our game and discovered a car tire in the weeds. My partner called to R several times but he din't really respond. When R began to play with the car tire, ignoring our calls, I stood up. I need you to sit with me on the bench. R didn't join me on the bench but he did come over and sort of mill around behind the bench. This was a frustrating moment, mostly because R just didn't listen.

R took my hand for most of the walk home. He talked to me in a very friendly way, showed me a quarter he found in the park, explained we were walking over the deepest part of the creek and pointed out a walking trail he liked on the side of the road.

Still a lot to learn.

Soon I need to discuss my observations on anticipating student actions, reactions and potentially volatile behavioral challenges.