April showers
Hard to believe but it's almost April. This is the month during which I turn 33-years-old. I haven't thought about my age a lot lately but I'm sort of happy with turning 33. Although I've never put time constraints on my life, such as being married or having kids at a certain age, I am thinking about it right now, this very moment. Maybe it's because I'm in the library surrounded by kids or maybe because I've been visualizing myself as a teacher lately and dealing with young kids and parents of assorted ages- but most likely around my age.
I find myself wondering what age I want to be when I first send my child to kindergarten. If I have a child in the next two years then I will be nearly 40 when the school bus makes its first appearance. I will be okay if I'm 45 as well, but do I want to be 50 when my child is in kindergarten? Sixty when they learn to drive? Retired when they start college? This line of thinking has the potential to be very, very, very sad.
posted by R.E.M. Rebound Operator @ 4:10 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I feel you. I understand your thoughts as I've had them myself. More of them lately as I've just turned 35.
Sometimes I say loud and proud that I don't want kids.
Know why I say that? Because deep down inside I'm afraid that time will prove to be my enemy. I wonder if I'll find a man that I love and that loves me back before it's too late? I've never wanted to trade in my womanhood for manhood, but in this case I envy men for their ability to have children well into middle age.
You, my friend, will be a great father- black hair, gray hair, or no hair. Your kids will be lucky to have you regardless of how old you are.
As for me, if the little kiddies never materialize I'll be OK. Life will still be sweet- there'll just be a little less macaroni art, legos, finger paints, and NERF balls laying around my house.
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